ICandee's Top Five: Christmas Strikes Back

Any true gamer knows that it's not always just about the games. There's a whole gaming subculture just waiting to crawl inside your head, squeeze your brain and ooze out of your ear like a ceti eel. Sure you could get games and points cards for Christmas but where's the fun in that?

I think you know where I'm going with this...

That's right...It's time for another...

ICandee's Top Five: Gimme Gimme Gimme!

1. Master Chief cufflinks from CufflinkConnection



2. Ms Pac-Man and pellet rings from little pretties by Rachel Pfeffer



3. Super Mario/Duck Hunt clock from 8-Bit Memory



4. Heartless hat from Armada Anime



5. Pet Metroid Larve from Phenocryst Miniatures



See? I call this: "gaming while not gaming" and it is awesome. And yes, you may buy me one of each, you thoughtful thing you!

Happy shopping (and gaming!)

All I Want For Christmas Is A Completely Harmless Wii Game

Yeah...uh, that doesn't have the same ring as "two front teeth" but whatever. Presenting an overload of cuteness and holiday cheer that is a must have for you Wii owners with small children that celebrate Christmas. (Leave to the Wii to provide us with a game no one asked for...and I'm so glad they did - cuteness is go!)



If you own a Wii, have small children, celebrate Christmas and don't get this game, I hope your tree burns to the ground. Okay, maybe that is a little extreme but listen, this game is super cute. We Wish You A Merry Christmas is a sweet little budget game from Destineer Games. And this game has a lot included for its $20 price tag.

Let's see...it has a few mini games, you can decorate a tree, write a letter to Santa Claus, color pictures, throw a log on the fire and roast marshmallows, plus it has a Christmas radio and an Advent calendar. Yes, Modern Warfare 2 it is not but we could all use a little brainless holiday gaming every once in a while, yes? And how could the modern parent not make gaming a part of their Christmas traditions? (As long as the Wii is around anyway)

Now if you will excuse me, I have to go turn the first day in my "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" Advent calendar and make hot chocolate for the elves. :D

Animal Cross(ing) Over

I have been dying to create and crochet some Animal Crossing toys. I don't care how long I play this game, it still is just the cutest little 'ole game and it needs to be recreated in yarn form (actually, what doesn't?)

Thus my plan to start crocheting and take over the world create some cute little what nots. I started with Blanca, the no-face cat that wanders around your town from time to time but I could not, for the life of me, get her frakking ears to match so I moved on to a simple bag of bells which I was much more successful with:



Now, it's not perfect but I'm quite pleased with my first attempt. The color of the bag is totally off but I didn't have any golden yarn handy. I have this stuffed rather than an actual bag you could use but I'm thinking to make the next one bigger so you could carry it as a purse/bag or whatever.

Hmmmm....

Yes, quite satisfied with this for right now...

It's Two Two Two Games In One...Sort Of...

What the what? I still haven't posted about Katamari Forever and it's been out since September?! Yikes. Well, this game is called "Katamari Damacy Tribute" in Japan for a reason and may not be for everyone. Wait, that's a lie, this game is one everyone should get if for no other reason than so they'll keep cranking them out. What can I say? I'm a rabid fan of the series and addicted to J-pop, so sue me...



This time the King of All Cosmos gets amnesia and in his absence the Cousins decide it would be a great idea to create RoboKing, a sort of King of All Cosmos cylon model who promptly destroys all the stars and the Prince has to once again create new ones. So you're kind of playing two Katamari games at once: on the one side are the King's boards where it's your responsibility to bring color (and the King's memories) back to the world and on the other side is RoboKing, with new objectives and yes, he's just as douchey as his Final Five King of All Cosmos counterpart.

34 boards in all, some new and quite a few that are tweaked boards from the previous Katamari games. What makes this one any different? Nothing much but being the huge Katamari fan that I am, I just don't care and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Same controls as before and the music is just as awesome including English versions of previous Japanese favorites from the soundtracks.

Although the series will always be best on the Playstation (I prefer the controls to the 360 or God forbid, the PSP *shudder*), I once again am lonely playing on my PS3 as there are no "So and So is online" or "Friends Playing This Game" 360 notifications popping up. *sniff* Of course there is the opportunity to "unlock" special rewards to use in Home but uh...yeah...it's Home so.../awkward.

Anyhoo, hardcore fans of the series have more than likely already bought this game and those of you on the fence are probably better off giving it a rental. No shame in that of course and be sure to tell RoboKing I said "beebopzorkmeeboop". What? Robots talk like that...

ICandee's Top Five: Games Halloween Style

I ain't afraid of no ghosts! Wait...yes I am.

Anyone who has kept up with this ole blog of mine knows that me and scary games do not mix. I don't care how crappy the graphics are or how stupid the story is, I do not like being scared. Period. Funny enough, I enjoy watching other people play scary games...a video game voyeur if you will. And yes, I realize what a wussy I am so don't bother pointing that out. :P So since it's Halloween I thought I'd list the Top Five scary games I will never ever play but love dearly anyway. Wait, a Top Five? Yikes, I have not done a Five in forever so let's get it on:

ICandee's Top Five: Scary Games That Scare Me and I Will Never Play Them But They're Still Kinda Cool

1. Bioshock



This is the one game that makes me ashamed to be a scary game wuss, I love this game so much! I think this game has the best atmosphere, the best music and sound but alas...too many creepy things jumping out at me and no friendly A.I. to send in the room ahead me to see if it's safe to go in.

2. Resident Evil 4



I watched my boss (at the time) play through this game three or four times and it creeped me out every time. Part of it was the seemingly average zombie-like people that would starting running at you out of nowhere, part of it was blowing someone's head off and having some possessed plant shoot out of their neck holes and part of it was how stupid Ashley kept getting herself killed. Then there were the freaky burlap chainsaw people. Yikes.

3. Silent Hill



I don't care which one you pick from this series, walking around an alledgely abandoned anything makes you wish Scooby Doo and the gang would walk around the corner with some old guy in a mask and make it all go away. The monsters in this series is what does it. Ewwwwww...

4. Fatal Frame



I admit it, this is a game about being in a house with a camera and it only took about 10-15 minutes and the first ghost going past for me to say, "I'm done!" and off it went back to the person I borrowed it from...done and done!

5. Perfect Dark Zero



Come on, the game that was suppose to be the app killer at the 360 launch was scary and you know it. It almost made me resort to playing Madden for Pete's sake! Just thinking about this game gives me the shivers...

So there you have it. Now I know I can't be the only one that can't hold her fear. What are your scariest games?

Happy Halloween everyone!

Oh Snap, Where Are the Presents?

So today is my birthday and all I want to do is get some gaming in at some point. I've been relegated to playing either ICandee Jr-friendly games or not gaming at all since she arrived and while I'm more than happy to put gaming aside in favor of raising my child...it's time to blow something up.

So I've got my copy of Brutal Legend, still in the plastic just waiting for me to wail on it and RuFfNeCk is picking up Borderlands today. I also feel the need to throw some zombies into a car compactor in Zombie Apocalypse. So I guess we'll see what happens, my vote is for RuFfNeCk to take ICandee Jr out of hearing range so I can get my grenading-naughty-bad-gaming-cussing-blowing-up goodness on.

Huzzah!

P.S.-Finally caught "Fanboys" last night. Not bad, very cute.

Zombies Get Fit

It seems like people are peeing themselves over vampires (*yawn*) and zombies at the moment. Twilight has taken over like a bad rash and new zombie survival guides are hitting the shelves everyday. All is not lost however because Zombie Apocalypse for the Xbox Live arcade is awesome.

Think of it like Gauntlet...with zombies. Plus, I can blow things up, double weld AND pitch zombies into those trash compactor things they use for cars. The multiplayer is awesome as well. It's so satisfying to shoot through the zombie pile up currently suffocating your partner. It's 800 points so just buy it now and thank me later.

Also, Wii Fit Plus is oot and aboot (as my dear Canadian chums would say) and it is a pretty good improvement over the first one. Calories are now counted, all of the games are unlocked from the beginning (finally!) and your Mii still looks suicidal when they're stomach swells after your weigh-in.

Gaming is good.

What Happens In Vegas...Is Awesome.

So RuFfNeCk was going to guest post about his trip to Vegas but he hasn't done it yet and I'm impatient so...here's some pics!

A trip to In-N-Out Burger (order from the secret menu of course):



A lucky dollar in the slot machine:



The first time he accosted Tim Schafer (under my strict instructions):



And the second time (this time successfully getting his autograph for me...what a sweet husband I have!):



All in all, he had a great time at the conference and I got Tim Schafer's autograph so it was an awesome trip for the both of us...

Talk About Mud Flaps, My Blog's Got Em...

Well yesterday RuFfNeCk and I were finally able to celebrate our anniversary. (Him being away in Vegas hobnobbing with the gaming elite - pics to follow soon) So we had a nice dinner out and then went to visit some friends and play some Rock Band.

Bad news first: I tried out drums in Guitar Hero for the first time and it was...not good. I don't know if Rock Band just takes pity on me or what but I s-u-c-k-e-d. Bah!

Good news: I totally rocked Rock Band! Of course the best part of the night was our friend who has not even seen "This Is Spinal Tap" try out her singing skills to "Big Bottom". Holy crap, I almost peed myself when she sang, "I wanna sink her with my pink torpedo!" I was laughing so hard I was crying and missed half the notes but it was totally worth it. It's almost like Rock Band was trying to make up to me for the fact that I still have not gotten any Foghat...

Up next, pics of RuFfNeCk with my gaming idol: Tim Schafer! *gasp*

Me Too!

In The Meantime...

I may not be able to play bloody fun video games in front of ICandee Jr at the moment but there's nothing stopping me from reading them...sort of? (2009 Guinness World Records 2009 Gamer's Edition and Fushigi Yugi The Mysterious Play by Yuu Watase recently purchased.)

But they say that the best things in life are free (those people never tried to use that line to get The Beatles Rock Band, now have they?), which was RuFfNeCk's philosophy when he approached me with a link to what he called, "Creepy Manga". I'm always suspicous when he calls something creepy because he's into all the horror movies, games and what not and for anyone that has read this blog with any sort of regularity you know that I am not a fan of such things so if he says it's creepy, it's usually creepy. (I do like to blow things up, I just don't want it chasing me down a hallway thank you very much.)

Anyhoo, I start to read this "creepy manga" and was like, "Uh...what's so creepy, this isn't a big deal!" to which RuFfNeCk replied, "Just keep reading..." So I did and I had trouble sleeping for the next few days. What a loving husband I have...

Please to enjoy, Creepy Manga.

I'd love to know your thoughts on this! Is it really creepy or have I once again fallen prey to my own wussiness???

Final Fantasy DOA

If this were ever ever ever to materialize as an actual game, I would pass out.

...

Then I would go buy it.

You Stay Classy USA!

Instead of losing a finger or an uncle this year, how about some Boom Boom Rocket on the Xbox 360 Live Arcade?

Happy 4th of July everyone!

Pick Up and Play...For About Five Minutes

Ever since ICandee Jr came on the scene, I've had little (if any) time for gaming. When I do have time, I've been gravitating to puzzle games (or the old standby-Katamari) because it's a way to get some sort of gaming in and at the same time it's something I can drop quickly should the need arise (i.e.-ICandee Jr deciding that 10 minutes of sleep is more than enough for one day).

When company comes over, if we're lucky enough to talk them into playing something, it's usually Rock Band, Scene It or Mario Party. Which those are fun, don't get me wrong but anyone that has read this blog for any amount of time knows me well enough to figure my need to blow something up is getting hard to repress at this point.

I tried to distract myself by trying out Yosumin! for the Xbox Live Arcade but...I don't know...not enough blow torches for me. Sometimes I do miss the days of staying up until God knows when playing G.R.A.W. or Burnout Revenge and taking out my friends (and yes, more than once-myself).

Oh well, new chapter and all that I suppose. One day ICandee Jr will be old enough for me to tell her to go play outside while Mommy shoots things. Let's see...she's 8 months old now so I should be able to do that when? In another month or so, right?

The Most Boring Post Ever

So once again, game playing has been slow around here. Yesterday I tried out Prototype or as I like to call it: "inFAMOUS Crackdown". And that's been pretty much it...*sigh*...so sad...

In funner news, the mucho talented Phin from the Frag Dolls community made me the slick new banner you see before you. I'm very in love with it., all bow before the banner!

If anyone reading this blog is playing games, please tell me your tales so that I may live vicariously through you...

That is all.

Dumb ICandee vs 100 Smarty Pants

Well the beta of 1 vs 100 is upon us and hello, free game to play! I didn't get in the first night but RuFfNeCk did so I just watched him play and was a little disappointed actually. He was getting questions like, "1 + 1 = what?" and "What color is red?" I swear it was right out of Will Ferrell's Jeopardy or something!

So needless to say when I got into the beta the second night, I may have been slightly over confident in my high school education and memory there of. I got questions like, "What is 1958746246fnj4692 divided by 7456393i769302j?" and "Describe, in 5,000 words or more, three improvements to transportation in early 19th century America and how each benefited farms and factories?"

Okay, there may be a slight exaggeration there but come on! I thought myself quite the intelligent person until 1 vs 100 quickly kicked me off my high horse and ran me over with it.

I cannot be the only one that's been sitting on my couch the past couple of nights with a puzzled look on my face, wishing I had a skip...am I???

Lawsuits Are So Brutal

Modern Warfare 2...okay

Halo ODST...sure

God of War 3...um, why not

Double Fine's new game "Brutal Legend" finally clawing it's way to the surface despite the fact that it has nothing to do with Raz or Psychonauts in general??? Yeah baby!



What? I know how to prioritize the important games...

E3 and The Second Coming of Katamari

E3 is upon us once again and since I am not lucky enough to be a part of the masses currently playing the latest and (hopefully) greatest or watching Steve Wiebe go for Mitchell's DK record, I decided to watch G4's E3 "coverage" and crochet Ichigo from Katamari Damacy:


I won't give you the boring details of E3, you can find that anywhere and everywhere but I will say that Microsoft had a pretty good showing (me want Beatles Rock Band!), Nintendo's conference was the saddest thing I've seen in a long long time (Vitality? ... seriously?) and I can only imagine that Sony's will be 15 minutes long since I'm assuming they'll be done once they discuss the new PSP and God of War III.

E3 is go!

My Prince Has Returned...In Crochet Form

Well, I bought this pattern off of Etsy and was finally successful at crocheting my very own Katamari Prince! I figure if I can't play video games I can at least crochet them:

He's not perfect but he's finished and looks fine to me!

ICandee's Fables

I finally got some Fable 2 in the other night and tried out a little of the new DLC. I have to say that I've been very impressed with the add-ons for Fable 2 so far. They have added to the story and fleshed out the general mythos of the series for me. With this new DLC you can change your dog's breed and end up in a very familiar place for those that played the first game.

Can I just say that I love the little hints of the previous game you find in this one. From books about a "hero" (your character in the first game) to Theresa and other characters and places that make an appearance or at least get a mention. I love when developers incorporate people, places, things from previous games into the next without it feeling like an exact copy of the first game.

I finally convinced RuFfNeCk to get this game on the PC (which better come to the Live Arcade, you listening PopCap?!):

I Heart The Big Lebowski...and Japan

So I've either been too busy or too bored to play anything lately...Bah! At least Sean80 and his "F#$@%ing Lady Friend" are coming in to see us this weekend so hopefully some gaming will ensue then.

In the meantime, the Japanese have a much better sense of humor than we do (and You Tube will let me make the player pink now!) so here's an oldie but goodie:



This just in: I found out that I won of copy of the PC version of Final Fantasy XI from Text Adventure! Oh snap! Gaming is go!

"I've Been So Happy Playing You..."

In the immortal words of Uncle Jesse, "If every game I played, could make you roll, I'd play forever..."

Or something like that anyway. I'm speaking of course of Katamari Forever coming soon to a PS3 near you! So quit playing those Blu-rays because there's a game coming out for the PS3! Yeah, yeah I get it...a Katamari game is a Katamari game is a Katamari game but I am not even exaggerating here when I say that I couldn't care less. They could literally put out the same game with the same title every year and I would buy it every time (at full price and on the PS3 *gasp*). I am the perfect target audience...You're welcome Bandai Namco!

Game Over! (Now With More Sock Puppets!)

Okay, here we go! This is it! The finale of WCG Ultimate Gamer was last night and it had everything! Excitement! *gasp* Tears! *gasp* Suspense! *finally*

I'm going to keep the blah blah blah as short as possible. Jamal gets the boot so it's Rob and Mark in the finals. I am all about Rob winning. I think he's been one of the most well rounded gamers on the show and more importantly, he's not a complete smarmy teabagging trash talking douche (at least not in this episode).

Soooooo...

Once Jamal gets kicks to the proverbial curb, Mark and Rob have a quick make out session ("You're the best!" No, you're the best!" "No you!" "You hang up first!" "No you!") and we move on to bigger and better things. Actually, we get back to the loft where they have some sort of sad sock puppet reunion. (Again I ask, where did they get the supplies to make sock puppets?!?!)

They take some sort of field trip because we see them come into the loft again and who is there but Rob's mother and Mark's girlfriend! Mark tells us, "I needed her there to encourage me...and keep me from kissing other girls in lavatories..." Okay, he didn't say that last part. A sweet moment is seen between Rob and his mother and I was touched that...wait a minute...

"Psst hey you! Move to your left! They're having a moment and you're in the shot!"

Apparently ever since the girls left, there's no food to be eaten so they bring in some fancy pants chef to make them all breakfast. After breakfast we have more sappy sentiments, crying, blah blah blah, Mark says, "No one thinks I'm going to win". (he can read my mind! I'm scared!) He kisses his girlfriend good-bye (what, no bathroom?) (Okay, that was my last one, promise!) and off we go to the rooftop to either wrap this thing up or jump off, one or the other. But not before we get a tender scene of the guys showing their ladies the sock puppets. (Seriously! How, where and why were they supplied with sock puppet parts?!?!?)

Jimmy Fallon and Karen from The Office are there to tell them that they will play 3 games in the finale, each one assigned points, most points win. The games are: Soul Calibur IV (yes!), Gears of War 2 (yes!) and Shaun White Snowboarding (zzzzzzz!). They won't know in what order they'll be played or how many points are assigned to which game. Out of nowhere, all of the past contestants show up, Dante takes the easy road and congratulates the finalists, Jamal continues to trash talk (shut up shut up shut up!) by saying "I'm the only one who could beat Rob". Uh, he means like he "beat" him at Halo 3 a few hours ago? Wait...does he know what "beat" means? He knows it means "win" not "lose", right?

Moving on...far away hopefully, Karen from The Office asks Swoozie what it's like to be a big loser (I've never understood why hosts ask questions like this) and we get treated to yet another Mark vs. Ciji sticks and stones throw down, this time it's mercifully short and we find out that each guy can choose one loser to "help" him practice the final games. Rob picks Swoozie and Mark picks Jamal (who are perfect for each other in my opinion, that's who Mark should've taken in the bathroom with him).

Now on to the finale! Finally!!!

One last kiss ("You're the best!" "No you!") between Rob and Mark and we're off! First game worth one point, Shaun White Snowboarding! So they have to do tricks down a zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz whatever, Mark wins this one so Mark-1, Rob-0.

Next game worth two points, Gears of War 2. Long story short, Rob wins so now it's Mark-1, Rob-2. So now it all comes down to the last game worth 3 points...

Soul Calibur IV

Here is where it gets good. Let me stop for a second here to say that I don't watch sports games (anymore at least). I'm not interested in the Super Bowl (nor the commercials), I don't watch the playoffs or World Series. There's nothing wrong with getting into watching that stuff, it's just not me. What is me is watching other people play video games. That's my "sports watching". And this final game between Mark and Rob in Soul Calibur had me up off the couch, yelling at the TV and is what led to my use of "mother f%$#%" in front of ICandee JR (Mommy's sorry sweetie!).

It was intense. Rob wins the first 4 rounds! All he has to do is win one more round and he wins the whole thing...did you hear me??? The WHOLE thing! Instead...Rob loses the NEXT 5 ROUNDS to MARK and MARK becomes the "Ultimate Gamer"?!?!?! What the what?!?!?!!

Wow...

It was almost exactly like this match in the Championship Gaming Series where this guy on Carolina Core comes back to win 4 (I think it was) DOA4 rounds in a row only to lose in the next round. That, to me, is what competitive gaming should be, none of these uneven, boring, predictable matches we saw in the beginning of Ultimate Gamer's season. But take heart oh dearest Rob...historically, it's the ones that don't win reality shows that get the fame. Heck, even The Bachelor went back to the original loser so there's hope after all!

In conclusion, I enjoyed watching this show immensely. I will watch again if there is a second season and I will be blogging about it for my faithful (2) readers here at ICandee, You Game. My final prediction is this: watch out Jimmy Fallon and Karen from The Office! Only one of you will be coming back for the second season, the other will hear their very own *cue dramatic music*...

GAME OVER!

I Said A Naughty Word In Front Of ICandee Jr

I can't even begin to blog about the finale of Ultimate Gamer right now so here's a quick haiku to tide you over...see if you can guess my final thoughts through the majesty of beautiful Japanese Americanized poetry and I'll be back when I can think straight:

*clearing throat* Ahem...

"No no no no no
No no no no no no no
No no no no no"

Oh Yes It Was Ladies Night

Last night I had some girlfriends over for a girl's night and it proved two things:

1. I have great friends

and 2. I am totally awesome on Rock Band drums. Since RuFfNeCk has the instruments in his game room, we moved in there and made him our Monkey Butler Game Runner. I've been able to play Rock Band exactly once since ICandee Jr got here so last night was a great time for me indeed.

Today we're stalking Best Buy to try and score some of their $10 game sale games and then hopefully I'll be able to start playing a little Call of Duty 4 (yeah, yeah, I'm behind I know...). :P

UPDATE: Score! We got ahead of the unwashed masses and acquired these games for a total of 60 bucks:

Pure
Unreal Tournament III
Infinite Undiscovery
Enemy Territory: Quake Wars (2 copies because I don't share)
Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3

Wizard Needs To Pee...Badly...

Going into this week's Ultimate Gamer, I was skeptical. After Ciji's elimination last week, we were down to 6 gamers and then we find out that this week 4 gamers were getting the dreaded "GAME OVER" and the finale was upon us the next week where we would finally get our "ultimate" gamer. Come on, 4 gamers in one episode??? O-kay...But I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by this episode. Gone were the "real life" challenges and in their place was pure gaming...in a sense...

Thus begins...The Gauntlet...dun dun DUN! My first thought was, "Wizard needs food, badly..." My second thought was, this better be good especially with SciFi and their ad for the show within the show telling me to "stay tuned". So Jimmy Fallon shows up at the Loft to inform our competitors that they will be playing previous games in The Gauntlet (dun dun DUN!) and 4 of them will get the boot. Also they will play these games *cue dramatic music* as they never have played them before! *gasp* But before all that happens, they have to play Asphalt 4 on Samsung cell phones...Fascinating.

Jamal wins and humbly says, "I was a shoo-in to win this cause they know that I'm the best all around gamer that there is in the world." Wow, really? In the whole wide world? That's impressive, nerf herder. Anyway, they all get carted to an abandoned warehouse where the first leg is either my dream fulfilled "Footloose" dance off or they have to steal a chip a la "Prison Break". By the way, where are all of these "abandoned" warehouses? Wherever that city is must have a hell of a rat problem.

We get a box in the corner of the screen telling us that it's 9:30 in the morning and 38 degrees. I can only assume (and fervently pray) that this actually means it is and amounts to useful information. First game up in Gauntlet Room #1 (they actually titled the rooms): PGR4. Last place from this leg of The Gauntlet (dun dun DUN!) gets the boot and everyone else moves on to the next round. But just as Jimmy Fallon said earlier, they're going to play PGR4 *cue dramatic music* as they never have played it before! *gasp* In this case it means they're strapped to a chair and have to play the game with the screen upside down.

Best quote from PGR4 round goes to Amy. When she realized they were moving her chair, she exclaimed in startled tone of voice, "I have to pee, dude!" However, the best part of this leg has to be when they hit that first turn and being upside down must have done it's work because they all crashed into each other and it was a total pile up. First place goes to Jamal whose prize is the ability to impair a competitor in the next round. Last place and first to get a boot to the butt is Chelsea. Fortunately, they decide to send her off with a montage of clips showing her being cute, blowing kisses and dancing in her little black dress. Between Amy's inverted bladder and Chelsea's primping I have no idea why more girls aren't gamers because add gaming with the duties of being a girl...awesome!

So our merry little crew heads off to abandoned warehouse room #2 where the game is Rock Band 2. Ultimate Gamer Clock: 2:30 PM. They will be playing guitar on "Eye of the Tiger" taking it "a little old school" as Jimmy Fallon put it. Thing is, they won't be playing just guitar. They will also be playing drums with their feet. This truly is...The Gauntlet (dun dun DUN!). They get to practice the song twice but since Jamal won the first challenge, he can pick any player to practice only once. He picks Mark, they all play, it's hard to play both, blah blah blah. Swoozie comes in first place and Amy is in last. So bye bye Amy thus rendering my earlier prediction that she would be in the top 4 false. Thanks for nothing! My fingers were crossed for a chick make it further but Amy did put up a good showing...ah well...

So now it's on to Abandoned Warehouse Room #3 and the game is Halo 3. It's a free for all and knowing how us gamers have no lives outside of the console, they make it a marathon meaning these guys gotta play Halo all night long. (All night long. All night. All night. All night long. Ooh yeah, all night.) Not only that but they have to remain standing the entire time on pedestals. They can take breaks whenever they want but their Spartan will spawn with or without them, offering free kills to everyone else. Since Swoozie won the last round, he gets a 5 minute advantage and can shoot, punch and teabag to his heart's content while the other guys have to sit by and watch it happen. The other 3 join in and it's on. So they get to midnight and Karen from The Office brings pizza and cookies. Swoozie takes advantage of the break and the others take advantage of his body...in game, of course.

2:00AM brings Karen from The Office holding a rope. I assume there's naked girls on the end of the rope to tempt our all male contestants further but instead it's a safe with $1,000, first one there gets it. Jamal takes the chance of losing kills and runs after the safe. Mark also makes a run but it turns out that he just needed a pee pee break.

Here's my question: why haven't they been playing the games like this all along? This episode was much more interesting than previous ones with the "Real Life" challenges...

All told, they play Halo 3 for 9 hours. Pretty impressive actually and quite entertaining to watch. In first place: Rob which was not a surprise to me in the least. So Rob is off to the finale, blinding contacts and all. As for last place and the next gamer to fall victim to The Gaunlet (dun dun DUN!)??? SWOOZIE! What the what?!?! Come on now, this has to be a joke! Stupid pizza break...

So now we're down to, as Dante would put it, Jughead and Floppy Farm Boy. (*sigh* I miss Dante's nicknames so much...) But they can't both stay so Jimmy Fallon and Karen from The Office tell them that the person going to the finale with Rob...will be none other than...

....

To Be Continued...

"Boom, roasted!"

I Miss Itagaki

Well, I got to play about 5 minutes of Halo 3 co-op with RuFfNeCk before ICandee Jr woke up (it would have been 15 minutes but he wanted to watch the opening cinematic, I just wanted to kill things).

Later that night, for some strange reason...nostalgia maybe, I was in the mood for Dead or Alive 4 sparring. Sometimes I'm in the mood to kick someone's butt while they're just standing there. :P So far I've unlocked system voices for Leifang, Hitomi and Christie (there would be more but hey, I stink at throws). Ya, DOA4 is as old as the gaming hills but it still looks glossy and gorgeous and it reminds me of a simpler time like learning new cuss words via Alpha-152 and KO'ing friends with repeated punches to the face...

Good times...

Even Gamer Girls Get The Blues

This week on WCG Ultimate Gamer, the game was NBA Live 09 and all the gamers tried to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

What? Huh? Sorry about that, must have nodded off in my total boredom and disinterest. (Let's see how many time I can use the word "boring" this week boys and girls!) After Jamal's teabaggin' defeat of Dante last week, his "nanny nanny boo boo" return to the loft was surprising anti-climatic. Boo! However, one of SciFi's confusing habits to advertise the show while I'm watching the show reoccurred and this time they proudly proclaimed, "One gamer challenges a basketball legend to one on one. You won't want to miss this." Whatever SciFi...My only hope is that the "legend" is Meadowlark Lemon come out of retirement and the "one on one" includes regulation ladders and chairs.

Meanwhile, on another episode of "As The Gamer Turns", Jamal proclaims, "I am the best gamer in the house". (As long as Rob's playing back up I'm assuming) and Ciji, still basking in her now Dante-free environment, gushes, "I hope that's the end of the drama". *cue dramatic foreboding music* and begin tearful emotional screaming match between Mark and Ciji.........NOW! Let me spare you here, Mark is totally denying everything and it's plain that he's used this tactic before because he is so good at it he can make you doubt your own name. What ensues is a screaming match betwixt our two young gamers with Amy valiantly trying to play interference. Ciji cries and storms off with Mark rubbing his hands in glee at his clever use of "Oh yeah, well I'm rubber and you're glue!" *cut to Rob smirking* So this either means that all Ciji is interested in is creating drama OR Mark is a stereotypical asshat that thinks he can do what he wants and deny his way out of it...

So on to the Real Life Challenge where Karen from The Office (looking fabulous as usual, this time dressed in a sleeping bag) announces this week's game and tells them to get dressed in their very own sleeping bags, er, I mean personalize basketball jerseys. Mark is peeing himself in joy of a game that he "is so good" at playing. They're going to have a dunking contest and who are the judges but Spud Webb, Darryl Dawkins and Lisa Leslie! (Look at me acting like I know who these people are, I'm so good!)

So now you know the judges, 3 guesses at to which "basketball legend" gets challenged to a "one on one" by which gamer. You're so smart! After getting a bad score on one of his dunks, Jamal the Jackass challenges Lisa Leslie to one on one because he "can take her anytime in real basketball". Really Jamal? And just why did he zero in on the female legend? I was half hoping she would have as much class as Jamal and take him up on the offer. I was really looking forward to watching them scrape Jamal off the court.

So now I'm bored so long story short, Swoozie is in first place and Jamal is in last place. Back at the loft, they all scurry away to try and become great at NBA Live 09, except for Mark, who tries to help Ciji play better. Rob, who has a habit of saying he's not strong in any game except Halo 3 apparently, goes to Jamal and tells him to make sure to score lower than Rob in the Isolation Challenge, after all Rob save his butt in the Elimination Challenge last week right? And once again Rob's concern is unfounded as it's (unsurprisingly) Ciji in last with Mark in first.

And here Mark makes a strange comment after placing first, "Finally my day has come". Uh...he does remember placing first last week, right? I'd say his day came last week...

Anyhoo, Amy is all in a snit again because she is really convinced with every elimination challenge that the first place person is going to pick her. I can't decide if this is due to her thinking everyone views her as a threat or her fear that all the boys want to get rid of the girls (which I would find funny except for Jamal). So she goes running to Mark pleading her case to not be up against Ciji with Mark essentially saying, "Whatever dude". He does comment that he doesn't think they'll expect what he's going to do. Whatever dude, you better wow me!

Now, in my most humble opinion, if I was Mark I would pick Rob to go against Ciji. It can't be missed on Mark that Rob's running around trying to keep himself in the loft during a week on his "weakest game". In my mind, Rob is big competition so get rid of him when the opportunity arises. Or get rid of Chelsea, she is MEGA b-o-r-i-n-g so get rid of her during an equally boring game, perfect! So just who does Mark pick to go up against Ciji.....hmmmm hmmmm hmmmm?

Himself...

Dude, we've already been through the whole "putting yourself up against the last place" with Swoozie and Geoff. It's been done and it's boring. Not only that but once again we're stuck with an Elimination Challenge with no drama, no excitement and no tension. Fabulous...

After Mark's groundbreaking decision, Jamal decides to become Ciji's "big brother and help her in this time of need". So he grabs a big honking glass of white wine and heads off to try and recreate the training scene from Karate Kid. And then it's time to head off to Samsung Stadium to say goodbye to Ciji.

Ciji arrives in her usual arraignment of face bling, plaid and funky boots and Mark arrives looking like a lumberjack getting ready to go camping. Once again, there's great effort but of course Mark wins. I think even more disgusting than Jamal's teabagging of Dante was Mark's smarmy send off to Ciji, "I don't totally feel like a winner cause I lost a really good friend today". How he said that with such a straight face I'll never know. Ciji did her best to hold her eye rolling back and I was wishing she'd walk straight up to him and kick him in the teabags. I guess that'll teach Ciji to go running her mouth when Mark is trying to get his mac and cheats on!

6 gamers are left and according to next week's promo, we only have 2 episodes left (?!) and next week they're playing everything they've already played...I guess my suggestion of them playing competitive Peggle was ignored.

I'm On The Highway To Rhythm Hell

RuFfNeCk knows my love for all things cute, especially if that cuteness can be translated into a game. Enter Rhythm Heaven for the DS. Tons of little rhythm games with the art style of Katamari, Loco Roco and Wario Ware combined.

Now, I'm by no means an ace at rhythm games. Half the time, I can't even spell "rhythm". But this game is so cute, I had to give it a try! All was well until I realized that either I have ZERO rhythm or this games cheats....I'm going with the latter. :P

So, luckily ICandee Jr has been asleep each time I've played because I definitely had my "gamer mouth" running instead of "mommy mouth". Each game starts with a practice mode and while I killed in practice mode for some reason I was using the stylus like a caveman when it came time for the real thing cause I s-u-c-k-e-d.

Oh well, it's still fun so check it out, especially if you're addicted to all things cute and rhythmic.

Happy Easter everyone! Please send any leftover Peeps my way!

Cheaters, Schemers and Teabaggers Oh My!

If you haven't already read it, you can read my preface for this post here.

Okay, here we go! Halo 3 was the game on last night's WCG Ultimate Gamer. This was an episode I was really looking forward to and you could tell that they took so much more time working on this episode. The Real Life Challenge was more involved, the graphics they used for teams and scoring were much more in line with the game itself and the episode had an overall polish that hasn't been seen in previous episodes.

So the gamers are taken to another abandoned warehouse where Karen from The Office pulls a "Max Headroom" to announce Halo 3 as the game of the week. You could practically see the guys peeing themselves in excitement and they were split into two teams. And lookie here, the "random team generator" once again put all the girls together. How does this happen every time randomly??? Amy, Ciji, Chelsea and Mark on one team and Dante, Rob, Swoozie and Jamal on the other.

The boys of course think they have this challenge in the bag and are promptly beaten senseless by the girls (and Mark). My favorite part of the challenge was Rob's confession of essentially running and gunning or as I like to call it, "The ICandee Method". So the girls win and it's hair braiding, pillow fights and practice kissing all around (because that's what girls do, right Jamal?)

Meanwhile, back at the Loft...

Mark, who has a girlfriend, goes into the bathroom with Ciji. What happens next is God only knows what but Ciji says that Mark kissed her. It's now all awkward between them...moving on...

During the commercial break we were treated to another episode of "Sock Puppet Theater", this time is was Jamal and Dante making out. Their puppets were priceless and their make out session hilarious. I think they should add arts and crafts time to every reality show from now on, those puppets are awesome...

Now back from the break, Ciji almost cries over the whole toilet kiss but holds it back making this the first episode ever with NO CRYING! Woo hoo! Way to go guys! I'm so proud...*sniff*...oh great, now I'm the one crying! Mark never mentioned a thing about the kiss leading me to believe that it either A. didn't happen or more believably B. he's not into kissing and telling (which while admirable doesn't change the fact you kissed someone other than your girlfriend and you're on TV genius!) and was trying the "If I say nothing, no one will hear about it" technique.

Later Jimmy Fallon comes over to have them randomly pick new teams again and I swear, I watched them randomly pick teams and all the girls still ended up on the same team again! Randomly! Seriously, how does that happen!?!?!

But here's the kicker: instead of Mark being surrounded by lovely ladies it was Dante's turn and as soon as he realized what team he was on you could see his face make an "oh sh*t" expression. Priceless... Then Chelsea makes some comment about never playing Halo before...uh, what? You're on a show to pick an Ultimate Gamer and you've never played Halo? Even I've played Halo! This show is starting to make less and less sense to me...

My favorite "Dante-ism" of the episode: after getting on his new team he said the following, "a little bit of doubt has drizzled on my dreams to be the ultimate gamer". Awesome.

So now we're to the Isolation Challenge which was a 4 vs 4 Team Slayer match on the sweetest setup I've seen in a long time. Trash talking abounded and other than Chelsea telling them to suck her whatchimacallit, I love me some good trash talking. Please note I said "good" trash talking...

Ciji decides to take matters into her own controller and purposely throws the match in order to get Dante into last place. More on this in a minute. Her nefarious plan works and Dante ends in last place with Mark being first. Dante asks Mark to put him up against Ciji and so Mark puts Dante up against Jamal in some sort of "tough game love" attempt to stop the bickering madness.

Jimmy Fallon informs them that man does not live by playing Halo alone so he has them each pick one person to go into the Elimination Challenge with them to help them out. Jamal picks Rob and Dante picks Mark. Doubts start to circulate as to whether or not Rob will throw the match to eliminate Jamal as Rob has gotten close to Dante. I never thought for a moment that Rob would actually throw it, he's got his own reputation to maintain and what's the point of helping someone stay that will eventually be your opponent anyway? If the point of the show is to be the best, you don't become the best by throwing games. You play as hard as you can and hope the other guy loses. Period.

Long story short (too late), Dante loses and Jamal was a complete ass during the match. I would love to see him play without Rob covering his backside. Now don't get me wrong, Dante was admittedly somewhat of a douche. I still want to cut that Peter Petrelli emo hair out of his face but look at the previous rankings. The guy has some gaming skills and I, for one, am sad to see him go. He may have still been in the bottom regardless of what Ciji did but I'm sorry he didn't get a chance to find out.

Which brings me to my disappointment mentioned earlier in my Preface post. I remember being a kid and the worst thing my mom could ever say to me was "shame on you". It always made me feel...well, ashamed. So without further ado, please join me in welcoming...

"ICandee's Ultimate Gamer Hall of Shame Shame I Know Your Name"

Shame on Jamal for saying this at the Real Life Challenge: "Girls will have issues, normally girls don't get along together when they're trying to work together". (Said right before his team had their asshats handed to them by the girls, more specifically Amy who won the whole challenge for her team.) Ironically, Jamal says afterward that if they had had Amy on their team instead of Dante, they would have won. Oh brother...

Shame on Mark for kissing Ciji. He seems like a nice enough guy but regardless of the "closeness of the situation" or whatever the excuse, there is no excuse for kissing someone while with someone else. No excuse. I hope his girlfriend kicked him but good.

Shame on Dante for clamming up during the Elimination Challenge once Jamal was ahead. Mark seemed like he was trying to bring him back in the game but Dante looked like he had already checked out.

Shame on Ciji for throwing the Isolation Challenge. Let those that suck go home by natural selection not by design. And not because you don't like them. And the next time some guy comes on to you and you know he already has a girlfriend, promptly punch him in the throat.

And although I adore some good trash talk as much as the next gamer...

The Ultimate Gamer King Douche of the Week Shame gets poured on Jamal for not only acting like a complete ass during the Elimination Challenge but especially for reverting to a 12 year old mouth breathing knuckle dragger and tea bagging Dante during the challenge. Unbelievable and ridiculously uncalled for, especially since Rob made the kill. Dante may be whiny but at least he went out with class.

I really hope the rest of the season isn't as disappointing as this episode was for me. Forget Top 4, here's who I think (and hope) will be in the Top 3: Rob, Amy and Swoozie. Unless of course Amy makes out with Rob then Swoozie, in a jealous rage, refuses to roll the Katamari so Amy is in last place.

Oh wait, they're playing NBA next week right? *sigh* I know gamers that swear by sports games but I have to admit that I think they are B-O-R-I-N-G. Maybe they'll play beer pong for the Real Life Challenge and the winner will get trained by Madden frat boys. Hopefully Jamal (and Mark) will keep it in his pants next week.

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Whew! What bitterness seeps from my gamer soul today, eh? Thanks to all who reads my weekly entry and don't mind my stupid opinions for jerks. Remember, sticks and stones may break my bones but words will hurt forever! Wait...what?

The Dread Pirate Preface

Whenever anyone says to me, "Let me preface this by saying" I tend to think I'm about to get bad news. Other stomach dropping gems include, "that being said", "be that as it may" and "I need to talk to you about something but can't right now, we'll talk later".

All that to say I'm about to use all three of them right now.

Let me preface this by saying that when WCG Ultimate Gamer was first announced, I was excited. I love seeing other gamers play and I'm on board with anything that shows gaming in a positive light. I started talking about it on the original "ICandee, You Game" and was met with quite a few naysayers and people assuming it was going to tank.

Be that as it may, I was still looking forward to it and tried to encourage people to watch it whenever I could. I was really impressed once the show started because even with SciFi's bumbling attempt to foster drama and Jimmy Fallon's worthless attempts to explain game mechanics in layman's terms for what I'm assuming they think is their huge crowd of non-gaming viewers, it has a good premise, good games and interesting (for the most part) cast members. I've never subscribed to the whole "fat guy in mom's basement" gamer profile and this show did a good job picking a varied group of gamers.

So I looked forward to Tuesday and decided to blog about each episode. Anyone that has followed my blog for a while knows that I never "report news" or straight up "review games". I've always felt that you can get news and reviews anywhere and that those people enjoy doing it, get paid doing it or want to get paid doing it so I say leave them to it. ICandee, You Game is just about a gamer. So in discussing Ultimate Gamer, I didn't want to do a minute by minute rundown of what they were doing. I tried to write about the good stuff, include my opinions and put a humorous spin on the show.

Once I found out that Halo 3 would be making an appearance, I knew that would be a major episode to watch. Let's face it, there's not much to an "ultimate" gamer if you don't know your way around a FPS and that's just the way it is which brings me to my first point: It's becoming more and more obvious that the "ultimate gamer" doesn't exist. No one gamer is good at all game genres. I think a better way to put it would be "Ultimate Racing Gamer", "Ultimate FPS Gamer", "Ultimate Fighting Gamer" etc. But the name, "Really Good All-Around Gamer" isn't quite as catchy is it? But I still have enjoyed the show and always look forward to watching and putting my own chaotic "know-nothing-know-it-all" opinion on it the next day.

I'm smart enough to know that with "reality" TV, comes editing and the producers are always looking for ways to make something out of nothing. But all the "you don't know unless you're in this situation" and "I'm not like that in real life" and "What you didn't see was..." lose their meaning after a while. Let's face it, a douche is a douche is a douche and no amount of editing can make you look more douchy if you weren't just a little douchy to begin with.

That being said, last night's episode was so disappointing to me on so many levels that I've decided to post this preface and think about it some more before writing my thoughts. Last night, I just wanted to rip everyone on the show a new one but didn't write it in the hopes that once I woke up I would be in a better frame of mind and could find the humor in it because I hate posting serious crap here.

But this morning I feel no different so we'll see...

So if you come here every Tuesday because you enjoy reading my humorous slant on the show, I really appreciate it and when I come back to it, hopefully I can figure out how to make last night's moronic display of idiocy funny.

In conclusion, I need to talk to you about something but can't right now, we'll talk later.

National ICandee Plays Games Day

Success!

I was actually able to play some games today and if ICandee Jr didn't burn out RuFfNeCk (or scare the crap out of him), I'm hoping to get back to it later tonight before Ultimate Gamer comes on. So far my gaming day has included:

F.E.A.R. 2 (I was good until they started dropping bodies on me...then I was out!)
Castle Crashers
Guitar Hero World Tour (I rock easy mode!)
Street Fighter IV
3D Ultra Minigolf (this game cheats :P)
Battleship (stupid A.I. Steve)
Braid
Ikaruga

It feels great to be playing again...

"I'm The Best Around! Nothing's Gonna Ever Keep Me Down!"

I love any chance to combine my love of gaming with my love of...well, anything else in my life. A few days ago I noticed a contest running over at Geek Crafts and decided, what the heck...And lookie who is listed first on the winner's list:

ME!

Holy crap, I can't believe it! On top of that, RuFfNeCk has taken pity on this poor gamer who hasn't been able to game and will take charge of ICandee Jr tomorrow so that I, yes yours truly, may play games as long as I want. Oh yeah!

Every Girl Wants A Little Blue Box

All of my life, or at least since I found out about it, I've been angling for RuFfNeCk to get me that infamous little blue box:

What? No, not that little blue box! This little blue box:

Sweet! I would be able to start Animal Crossing for the third time!
Not to mention I could take pictures and do funky stuff to them. I mean, I can already do those things on my computer but still! Pocket size! And since Nintendo did not see fit to take my advice and launch the DSi covered in pink glitter, I'll be satisfied with the blue one I guess.

So RuFfNeCk is off to run the midnight launch and I'm at home trying to figure out how long we can go without eating so I can buy one of these. Is eating really that important?

Cannibals and Sock Puppets

Let me start by saying that for those cast members that have been kind enough to contact me and continue to read my lil ole blog, thank you! I appreciate your feedback and applaud your good humor.

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It was a predictable week on WCG Ultimate Gamer and although the Producers are making a valiant effort to create suspense and facilitate surprise, they really really really suck at it.

So Jamal comes back to the loft and decides to immediately "call a meeting" to tell everyone what a meany-bo-beany Dante is and how he's trying to make alliances. There's intrigue! *gasp* Suspense! *bigger gasp* Tattle Telling! *GASP* So it's the world against Dante with the exception of Robert and Swoozie and let me say this right now, out of all of the gamers (from what I've seen so far) the only two in the house I would care about having on my side is Swoozie and Robert so way to go Dante! And although I was disappointed to see that there was no creative name calling on Dante's part this week, he did speculate that by the end of the week Jamal would "eat someone" so I'm satisfied. Now, on to the Real Life Challenge...

Hint to future cast members of any reality show: whenever they tell you to get ready for a night on the town, always be ready for a challenge. You are never there just to have fun. And so it was when the gamers were taken to a club and instead of drinking themselves stupid or, as Jamal would have it, getting some from the myriad group of nameless female place fillers hanging around, they were put right into their Real Life Challenge by having to dance in front of the crowd while being judged by some schlubs from "So You Think You Can Dance".

The top three dancing gamers had to compete in a...wait for it...DANCE OFF! Oh yeah! So we got the joy of seeing Robert, Swoozie and Jamal dance dance the night away. Swoozie did a little Michael Jackson break dancing, Robert did Ravers around the world proud and Jamal busted his butt trying to do some sort of contortion to impress the judges. So it's Swoozie (Mr. Jackson if you're nasty) in first place, whose prize is a call home.

Hey, remember last week when Dante placed high in the Real Life challenge even though he almost killed innocent people with his car? Well, apparently busting your butt is better than staying on your feet because Jamal placed second over Robert. So by the judges standards:

killing people>killing barrels
busting butt>staying upright

Anyway, no sense crying over spilled Jamal. Quote of the challenge definitely goes to Dante for this little gem, "Asian people can breakdance". Wha?? I know there's a lot of things that Asian people are stereotypically known for, but breakdancing is a new one to me. I'm assuming that Dante is not really Asian then because what he did on stage was not breakdancing. (However, it was broken so maybe that's what he meant)

By this point, Karen from The Office tells our gaming Barishnikovs that this week's game is Dance Dance Revolution Universe 3. *cue Geoff peeing himself* Now around this time, one of SciFi's tickers comes up on screen and it says, "Who will be the top two gamers up for elimination? The answer will shock you. Stay tuned!" WTF? Hey SciFi, you realize I am watching the show right? I promise I'm not going anywhere! What a codependent network this is turning out to be, sheesh. But since you brought it up, I better be dazzled do you hear? DAZZLED!

I have to take a break here and say that so far I'm 20 minutes into this episode and there have been no tears! *commence turning cartwheels* I'm so proud! Finally, no crying in the...What's that? *whispering* Well, son of a...SWOOZIE! Not you too! *sigh* and they were so close...

So now we get to the dirt: Mark, Ciji and Geoff (and later Jamal) discuss Ciji purposely throwing the Isolation Challenge in order to be the one to defeat Geoff since at this point they all know he is going to be in last place. (Except Amy for some reason, who is the only one in the house that thinks she'll be last. And all of my efforts of screaming at the TV "Amy, you're not going home! SciFi keeps showing you playing paintball even though in the opening they try to make us think it's Alyson! You're safe this week and we have lost all suspense thanks to SciFi horrific spoiler filled promos!" did nothing to assuage her fears.)

Now for a break to discuss the quirky...Just where did these people get the materials to make sock puppets?!?! I'm not complaining because I'm all for supporting the arts but they were given new socks, glue and yarn for pete's sake! Geoff seemed displeased with their reindeer games as his puppet was, "nine times larger than everyone else". He then proceeded to turn green and smash the puppets to bits.

This week's Best Quote In The Loft award goes to Jamal who said, "I don't want to be in an elimination challenge again so I'm going to try and win every game". Uh...duh? You do know that that's why you're on the show, right? To win games and be the "Ultimate Gamer"? Let's see, how can I explain this. ... Okay, when two people really love each other...oh forget it! And quick side note, they put Robert on the screen who didn't have his day-glo contacts in and it literally made me jump.

So here we are at the Isolation Challenge and let me spare you the details: Ciji decides not to throw the challenge, Amy sucked and lives to cry about it and Swoozie gets first place so it's up to him who will decide who will send Geoff (big surprise, he's in last) home this week. Now it's interesting to note that while they're waiting on Jimmy Fallon to come in and announce the winners, some sort of finger pointing, "I'm rubber, you're glue" conversation occurs which ends in Amy leaving the room and Mark screaming for Jimmy Fallon to stop the madness.

Meanwhile, back at the loft, Ciji tries to convince Swoozie to put her up against Geoff, presumably because she wants to make up for not throwing the challenge by putting Geoff out of his misery gently. What she didn't realize was that Dante is the one that likes Elimination advice from the ladies, not Swoozie. So just who does Swoozie pick to go up against Geoff?

Why Swoozie himself! Karen from The Office looks shocked at this decision and proclaims that Swoozie is taking a big risk. Yeah right! Let's face it, with the exception of the Kelly vs. Amy Street Fighter round, none of these Elimination Challenges have been suspenseful or a surprise. SciFi, again valiantly, tries to create a "OMG, who will win" moment with their old stand by: making it look like the underdog has improved so much overnight by practicing that they actually have a chance to leave the stadium victorious. Again I say, nice try Lao Che! And what's up with Karen from The Office not owning a pair of pants? I would love to see what is surely the "Library of Mini Dresses" at her house.

Geoff does his best but in the end it's no surprise that Swoozie is on his way back to the loft. In some ways, it's not bothering me that the elimination challenges are ending up this way. The title of the show is, "Ultimate Gamer" not "Good At One Type Of Game Gamer".

Here are my predictions:

My current picks for Final Four: Swoozie, Robert, Dante or Jamal and Amy (this is assuming Amy gets her groove back next week and Dante isn't killed in his sleep).

Chelsea is running under my radar, I still have no idea what to think of Mark, Jamal probably poked bee hives with sticks when he was a kid and I'm hoping to see some blood thirst from Ciji. I'm with Swoozie: it's time to think of this as a competition, not time to braid each others hair and swear eternal friendship...

GAME OVER!

Famous Couples Have New Competition

I have so many famous couples I call my favorite:

Peanut Butter and Jelly
Romeo and Juliet
Six and Baltar
Chocolate and Anything
Katamari and the 360

And now this just moved to the top of my list:



...oh baby!

Crybabies, Jughead and Attempted Murder

Remember when last week I predicted that Geoff would cry when it was Amy, not Kelly, that walked through the door? Told you so! Although I'm not sure if he was crying because Kelly went home or because his lucky hat was gone...

This week's game was PGR4 and seeing as how I met my husband playing PGR3 I was excited to see what this week had in store. What I wasn't prepared for was MORE frickin' tears. For pete's sake, there's more crying on this show than all seasons of The Bachelor combined. Anyway, Karen from The Office informs our weepy eyed gamers that they will pair up, take on real cars and see which team has the best drift. Some famous driving guy comes in to judge and...they're off!

Way off in my opinion...

Here are the pairings:

Mark and Ciji, who both nailed it
Alyson and Robert, who has never driven in his life thanks to NYC
Chelsea and Swoozie, I can't decide if I like Swoozie or not
Amy and Jamal, more on Jamal later
and last but not least: Geoff and Dante Petrelli (please someone cut that front hang-y emo hair off!)

Long story short, Dante, the "expert" at racing is sure he will be top dog and instead ends up almost killing the camera crew. Chelsea ends up driving to Alaska instead of keeping on course (I think she took off because she was afraid they would charge her for the barrel she annihilated) and apparently Swoozie threatened retribution if she failed because she couldn't keep her scared rabbit eyes off of him as Karen from The Office and that racing judge guy were telling her how much she sucked. Amy/Jamal did well, Ciji/Mark did better and Alyson/Robert did about as well as was expected seeing how Robert has never driven and Alyson apparently just learned.

First place: Ciji and Mark, I was happy about their win, they deserved it. Now before I say who took last place, let me just say: it had to be between Swoozie/Chelsea and Dante/Geoff. First of all, Chelsea didn't even run the course and took out a barrel and second, Dante ALMOST KILLED PEOPLE. My logic is sound, yes? Except that apparently those barrels get paid more than the crew because it's Swoozie/Chelsea in LAST and Geoff/Dante end up being SECOND. Wha????? Amy/Jamal end up 3rd and Alyson/Robert are 4th. FAIL! FAIL! FAIL!

So they get back to the loft and Swoozie says some sort of ego driven blah blah blah "Count me out when I pack my bags and leave and don't come back". Uh, thanks for the instructions, we're planning on it, chet. And then Alyson (who has never played PGR4 before) says something peculiar, "I don't think they really have any idea how good I am" (referring to Halo 3 and shooters in general). Hmmm, see that's all well and good but you know you have to play PGR4 this week, right? The game you've never played before? But that's okay, I'm sure you'll do well! *cue sad music*

Now before we get to the Isolation Challenge, a little dueling was going on in the loft. Jamal started slapping Dante Petrelli with his metaphorical glove and challenging him to a Virtua Fighter Face Off! *gasp* I have to stop here to say that if there's one reason I don't want Dante to get his "GAME OVER" it's this: Remember last week when he called Mark a "Floppy Farm Boy"? Well this week he called Jamal "Jughead". Awesome! The man does have a way with name calling, admit it! So anyway, the whole VF5 show down was actually close with Jamal winning the last round. Jamal....hmmmm...

You know, I don't read that many comics but I know enough to know the difference between a villain and a super villain. See, Dante is a villain but not one that could take over the world. He's more the type that has the potential to be evil but generally ends up dropping the girl as he's flying away to take her to his secret lair or having to turn around because he realized he forgot his laser gun. Jamal on the other hand...the jury's still out for me on Jamal. First I thought he was boring, then I thought I liked him. Now I'm thinking he's the worst kind of super villain. The kind that smiles while he's taking jabs at you. (like Frodo's character in "Sin City") The kind you never see coming...Well, except that he can't stop trash talking so if he'd shut the heck up you wouldn't see him coming. As it stands right now, you have plenty of time to make a run for it, you can hear him coming a mile away...

In other news on a gaming show that has nothing to do with gaming, the producers apparently needed a new romantic angle with Kelly gone and Geoff bemoaning his lost reality TV love and lucky hat, we turn to Mark and Ciji to heat things up! (Much better choice than Dante, Ciji!) Unfortunately Mark has a girlfriend so I'm not sure where the producers will turn next.

By the way, they're using the wheel instead of the controller to play this week's game. I feel it for them because I hate using the wheel myself, gotta have that controller! Here we are at the Isolation Challenge and after Jimmy Fallon puts the fear of God in them, we end up with Dante in first place (again) and Alyson in last place. Let me save you the suspense. Once again, Dante talks to pretty lady (this time it's Chelsea) and he picks Jamal to go up against Alyson. Well crap, there goes Alyson!

Even though they go through the motions of showing everyone on Alyson's side and her giving it her best, let's face it, she's never played the game and Jamal came in 4th in the Isolation Challenge. (My choice to go against Alyson would have been Geoff, I like seeing equally skilled players against each other.) I'm not sure what Dante was thinking but apparently he just wanted to keep Jamal around for some warped reason of his own. Although they made it look like a close Elimination race between Jamal and Alyson, they covered Alyson's time with her picture and at that point, the suspense went bye bye and so did Alyson.

I have to say, I hated this pairing, I really wanted Alyson to continue. I was interested in seeing her in her element with FPS. I'm on the fence with Jamal now. He seems like a pretty okay guy but the trash talk is getting tiresome. Then again, gaming is nothing without trash talk so what do I know? Oh well, Jamal's off to the Loft and Dante better hope he's not the next one duct taped to a bed. (Teach you to drink wine Jamal! Wait, what are you doing drinking wine anyway)

Here's my predictions for next week as the gamers "Dance Dance" their way to Reality TV obscurity:

-I still say Amy will make it to the Top 4
-If Geoff does well and does not end up in the bottom next week, I'll be surprised
-Jamal will trash talk his way to my naughty list
-I'm hoping next week's episode will help me decide if I like Swoozie. He's kind of a douche but then wears a "The Cake Is A Lie" shirt. I'm conflicted!
-I'm going on a limb here and will predict that only ONE person will cry next week. Please let it be only one!
-Contacts or no, I've decided that Robert's okay and I'm saying he'll join Amy in the Top 4

One last thought: in the history of reality TV hosts, 2 hosts almost never make it to the second season and this show needs 2 hosts even less. Karen from The Office or Jimmy Fallon, get ready for your very own "GAME OVER"!

Ancient Gaming Secret, Huh?

See, soaps in the shape of cute things aren't just for old ladies anymore! (Unless your old lady games, then I would suggest you go buy her some of these to replace the basket of shells on the back of her toilet).

Check out Digital Soaps.

The End of All Things

Okay, pure and simple, if you don't and haven't been watching Battlestar Galactica for the past 4 seasons...well, I don't know what to tell you (although I have a couple of things I could call you). And don't think about watching it now because it's over....OVER! Why? Why? Why? Actually, you can get it on DVD but still! Last night's series finale was a good ending. I wasn't on the edge of my seat for the most part but I was satisfied.

Remember how Menudo would change members more often that they change socks? It's time for another Frag Dolls Casting Call! Woo hoo! I wish Ubisoft would do an offset of the Frag Dolls to include female gamers that don't play competitively but are still hardcore gamers, we could still represent! Maybe I could convince Double Fine to start a group like that.

Anyhoo, I hope everyone is having a smashing weekend! I'm going to hopefully get some gaming at some point. RuFfNeCk is working all weekend long so Boo! to that.

Tears, Floppy Farm Boys and The Longest Blog Post Ever

Wow, who knew gamers had so much drama (or cried so darn much for that matter)? Kleenex is sure to be in the black this fiscal year. Last night's episode of WCG Ultimate Gamer was definitely a step up from the first episode. We had King Kong, Floppy Farm Boys and tears by the barrel full!

This week's game was Virtua Fighter 5 and I won't bore you with all of the challenge details and what nots. After all, this blog doesn't specialize in the news you can get anywhere, right? So let's sum up the boring stuff and get to what we all came here for: drama, drama, drama. (Ironically the one thing I didn't think this show could produce, real or manufactured.)

So the Real Life Challenge was to play a sort of "Name That Tune" of board breaking. (When they showed up at this abandoned looking warehouse, I was hoping the challenge would be Abandoned Warehouse Dancing a la Kevin Bacon in "Footloose".) Karen from The Office states that the teams were "randomly selected" which I'm sure is true but apparently the "random" machine "randomly" put Robert, Kelly, Amy and Alyson on the same team (this time adding in Ciji and Dante) again. Since their fantastic defeat with Rock Band 2, one can only hope they fare better as a team this week...

Damn you irony!

They fail, Red Team wins (Swoozie, Mark, Jamal, Geoff and Chelsea). So now Amy, Robert, Alyson, Ciji, Kelly and Dante are in last place meaning that if they don't pull a rabbit out of their hats during the Isolation Challenge, they're screwed.

Three best things about this challenge:

1. Geoff and "King Kong" are used in the same sentence. (I'd think of him more like a Hulk myself)
2. Dante calls Mark a "Floppy Farm Boy" (I had to rewind this twice to make sure, it's that funny)
3. When Dante lost he cried and cried and cried thus bringing my prediction from last week to life that he would cry more than Ciji who, also on the losing team, did not cry. (That we saw anyway) Hey, remember the first season of Heroes when Peter had his emo hair that was always hanging in his face? It made me want to take scissors to it while he was sleeping...I'm really hoping someone in that loft has scissors...

It's when we get back to the loft that we get to the good stuff.

The best part of the whole scene is this: remember last week when I said that "Mark and Jamal are boring"? Well, my stars...hello Jamal! It must have been his big goofy grin that threw me off track last week because he was more than content to put his happy face in the box under his bed and put on his meanie face because he was right there jabbing Dante into an inferno (I know, too easy). And just who was yelling his own comments from the peanut gallery? Why, Mark, there you are!

Somehow Amy gets dragged into all this so Dante, being accused of talking about others behind their back and convinced that alliances are being formed to take him (and knowledge of alien existence) down, starts the whole, "She talks too much!" to be shortly followed by the "I never said she said she talks to much...I said a lot!" Dude, you are being recorded on C-A-M-E-R-A, they have photographic evidence of when you take a potty break for pete's sake. And just who (according to Dante's newspaper clippings on the wall) is the mastermind behind this nefarious plot to destroy him?? Why, it's Ciji! Who apparently is threatened by Dante because the only game she plays is Guitar Hero. Dante is one crazy whine short of taking his ball and going home. Uh...Ciji, you have a crush on this guy....really? *shudder*

Whew...so before we go on to the Isolation Challenge, a quick word about Robert. In regards to the game being Virtua Fighter 5 he says, "not my type of game". Nice try Lao Che! We fell for that last week with Rock Band, remember? When you crapped all over the first two challenges and then wailed on JD at the Elimination Challenge? Well, not this time! (Although he takes 8th place at the Isolation Challenge so maybe he was right...oh whoops! *spoiler alert* he takes 8th...oh whatever) He also sported a new contact this week, a fancy one! Let's see, he's already got the sideways hat, piercings and Marilyn Manson contacts. I'm not sure how much more "style" I can take from this one before my retinas burn out of my skull.

Moving on...

Isolation Challenge, let me spare you the details: Kelly ends up in last place with Dante (no!) being in first. So Dante will choose who Kelly goes up against in the elimination challenge. dun dun DUN! Now it's time for hushed secret squirrel talks back at the loft...shhhhhhh...

Dante pairs up with Kelly, promising to train her and find out from her who she thinks she should be up against. Dante is clearly gunning for Ciji due to her getting on his nerves. Kelly, however brings Amy into the mix because supposedly Amy has been "sneaking by" in the competition so far. Um...listen sweetie, when you're also in the bottom, Amy ain't the only one that's been "sneaking by" so far. (especially when her rank is 7-10 and yours is 11-11) So of course, Dante listens to the pretty lady and picks Amy, who has also been getting on his nerves. Both Dante and Kelly are figuring it would be an easy victory. Too bad they didn't see the promos for the show that clearly show Amy playing paintball and Ciji playing DDR in future episodes (thanks SciFi for keeping the suspense alive) or they might have picked someone else.

In the end, it's down to Kelly and Amy (and Karen from The Office in another mini dress). It was a very close match but I'm not sure if that means they were both kicking butt or both sucking equally. Amy comes out victorious and Kelly is left to throw Geoff's hat around and say a tearful farewell to him via the camera. "Smiles!"

Another episode down and prizes to win! Remember, you're playing for a Rock Band hat and Street Fighter IV Costume Pack. Leave a comment on this post (not the answer!) and then e-mail me your answer to icandee360 at gmail dot com. First one wins. Here's your question, hope you were playing attention:

"Geoff, being picked MVP at the Real Life Challenge won a training session with the current US WCG Virtua Fighter 5 Champion, Adnan Rana and during the session, SciFi blazes a huge promo for one of their other shows that covers half the screen and half of Rana's face. What show were they promoting (that's apparently more important to showcase than the show currently...uh, showing)?"

Good luck! Here's where we are with WCG Ultimate Gamer and where I think we're going:

-Amy kept a pretty cool head during the Dante-Jamal-Mark-Ciji debate so I'm revising my previous statement of her from last week. I still say she'll make it to the top 4 but with more tears than fights.
-Robert brought more contacts with him than shirts
-Geoff SMASH! (and will cry when he sees Amy walk through the door next week)
-Speaking of crying, only 6 people have not cried since the show started (and we're only two episodes in!): Mark, Jamal, Robert, Alyson, Chelsea, JD and I say at least 2 of those listed will fall off the stoic wagon before the season is over.
-Watch out for Jamal, he's a sneaky one...I predict he will make Dante cry at least once more before Dante goes home.
-I hope Dante knows his game because he will be put up against last placers until they get rid of him.

That's it, I can type no more! Join me next week for another episode of As The World Turns...wait, I mean WCG Ultimate Gamer!

*dramatic look at camera* and...

GAME OVER!

Attack of the Arcade...With Prizes

RuFfNeCk got me a memory card for the 360 so I could save my profile on it. Reason being that he has every Arcade game and since I'm very picky as to what and where my points go to, this is the perfect solution for me to try out full versions of games without spending points on crap. (I'm talking to you Root Beer Tapper!)

Anyhoo, so today I tried out some Booty game (ironically it's about pirates, not the other kind of booty...oh well!) and Braid. (Yes, I realize I'm a year behind here) So as I'm sitting there getting bitch slapped by Braid, I get an idea. I usually get my best ideas while gaming and this session of failing to get all the puzzle pieces in Worlds 3, 4 and 5 was no exception.

Here's what I'm going to do: since SciFi's WCG Ultimate Gamer is not as horrible as say, G4's current line up of non award winning crap-o-rama. (Ninja Warrior being the exception of course) I got the idea to reward you (yes, you!) my loyal readers (all 3 of you) for watching Ultimate Gamer.

Every week I will be watching the show and blogging my various witty and I'm sure often hilarious thoughts and anecdotes the following day. Your job is to read said blog, leave a comment (about your thoughts on the show, just to say hello or tell me how great I am...all viable options for comment leaving) and then e-mail your answer to a question about that week's episode that you will only know if you have watched the show because the answer will not be here. Clear as mud, yes?

If there is no winner for the week, that week's prize will be added to the next week's prize and the winner for that week will win both. And on and on it goes...

So since I didn't have a prize for last week's episode, there will be 2 prizes to win this week. Here's what you will be playing for:

A Rock Band hat in honor of last week's episode. And...

In honor of this week's episode, the code for the Brawler Costume Pack for Street Fighter IV which sells for 320 MS points on Live. This pack includes all-new alternate costumes for Abel, El Fuerte, E.Honda, Rufus and Zangief.

So there you have it:

1. Watch WCG Ultimate Gamer on SciFi tonight at 10:00 PM.
2. Pay attention (DVRs are fab)
3. Come back here tomorrow.
4. Wipe the tears from your eyes as you read my stunningly amusing and insightful blog post about tonight's episode.
5. Comment on the post with something like, "Hey there ICandee, you make my life worth living."
6. Scratch your head as you try to answer my question about tonight's episode.
7. E-mail me at icandee360 at gmail dot com with your answer.

First person to comment here and then e-mail the correct answer wins both prizes. If no one wins, both prizes will go towards next week's Ultimate Gamepot (that's right, I just named this madness!).

Open to US and Canada residents.

Go watch Ultimate Gamer and I'll see you tomorrow!

Peggle Me This Batman

I am loving me some Peggle. DS, Xbox Live Arcade, doesn't matter where, it's freaking fun to play! I beat the game pretty quickly but those challenge levels are kicking my can.

In other non-gaming news...3 things:

1. The only thing worth watching on G4 is Ninja Warrior (Um...G4 Underground with Morgan Webb? What, are they going to investigate why Ultimate Gamer is showing on a sci fi channel instead of G4, a gaming channel? Bah!)

2. The Big Lebowski should be on everyone's "To See", "Must See" or "Top Ten" list of movies...period.

and

3. Episode 2 of WCG Ultimate Gamer is on tomorrow night, woo hoo!

And The Contacts Shall Lead Them...

Well well well, here we are, one episode down on SciFi's newest science fiction...uh, I mean newest show: WCG Ultimate Gamer.

Overall the show isn't too bad. So here's the deal:

12 gamers are picked to live in a loft to find out what it's like when people stop being polite and start getting...wait, that's The Real World. Sorry! Anyway, we've got 12 gamers of various what-nots. Every week they are given a different game and it's that weekly game that make up the 3 challenges-a "Real Life" Challenge, an "Isolation" Challenge and finally, an "Elimination" Challenge where one gamer is sent home. Your illustrious hosts and contestants:

"Hi, I'm Karen from The Office and this is my co-host Jimmy Fallon"

Adande, Gamertag "Swoozie"

Kelly, Gamertag "MrsViolence"

"My contacts will burn a hole in your soul"
Robert, Gamertag "Prod1gy X"

Ciji, Gamertag "StarSlay3r"

Jamal, Gamertag "Zophar321"

chelsea, Gamertag "Delicate (<3)"

Mark, Gamertag "mMmapplesauce"

Amy, Gamertag "Athena"
(Also known as Valkryie, one of Ubisoft's Frag Dolls)

Geoff, Gamertag "INcontrol"

JD, Gamertag "KosherHamm"

Alyson, Gamertag "Nin9tyNin9"
(She will be made to be the dumb sexy blonde, mark my words)

Dante, Gamertag "DevilsAlastar"
(a game tester, he is the only non pro on the show)

Apparently Ciji knows Dante and has a crush on him (which made her cry to talk about it). So the Real Life Challenge for this week was to break up into 3 "bands". They then had to learn to play "New Kid in School" by the Donnas. (and the judges were...yup, The Donnas). The first place band won Ion drum sets and someone on the last place team would be up for elimination...sort of. (Cue tears from Ciji as she waits for the results) Long story short, the last place band was "Pandora Rox" made up of Amy, Alyson, Kelly and Robert. Alyson is a former Frag Doll (which is funny because her Frag Doll status is used on her profile at Scifi.com even though she's no longer on the team), Amy is a current Frag Doll (which is funny because her being a FD isn't even mentioned and she's using her PMS gamertag for the show) and Kelly is a member of the Frag Doll community. (Robert was just there to blind the audience with his ludicrous contacts)

Their loss had to be due to Alyson, who had no clue what the lyrics were (not that the others in the group were much better) and that brings me to a very important point: they all had back up bands playing "with" them! If the challenge is to see if you can play guitar in "real life", where's the realism if you have professional guitarists and drummers playing for them? Plus, half the time these people weren't even attempting to fake playing...Fail! Here's my theory: the producers realized that none of these people were going to be able to actually play their instruments and finally said, "Screw it, get musicians up there with them, no one's going to watch this show anyway".

Then comes the Isolation Challenge. Everyone's moved around into 3 new bands. They then go into the Matrix and play Rock Band 2 against each other to Lent's "My Own Worst Enemy". They're scored on a group total as well as their individual totals. The person with the last place score is up for elimination. And just who has the last place score? Our fabulous Robert of the Blinding Contacts.

Geez, this is a long entry...*deep breath*

So here's where the show got interesting. The person in first place gets to pick the person that will go head to head with the last place person. One of those gamers will get the boot, woo hoo! And just who is in first place? Why, Robert's friend Swoozie! Hmmmm, let the strategy begin...

Now Robert is a pretty solid gamer (even though he dropped a deuce on the first 2 challenges) so the smart thing to do would be to put Robert up against Ciji since she's one of the best Rock Band/Guitar Hero players around (even though she placed 5th in the Isolation Challenge). That way, Robert (big threat) would get the boot early, right? Well, never say that gamers don't have a heart (because apparently it's brains they don't have) because "Swoozie" chooses to "help his friend" Robert and put him up against JD, the one gamer there who is an expert in Sports games (read-plays Madden with his drunk Frat brothers) and who S-U-C-K-S at rhythm games.

I have to admit though that JD gives it the ole college try and at first stays neck and neck with Robert during the Elimination Challenge (song: Offspring's "Come Out and Play"). It's about 30 seconds into the challenge that they stop showing the scores because Robert is running circles around JD. Needless to say, JD is gone and Robert is safe for another week.

So if you're keeping score, here's where we're at so far and where I'm predicting we're going:

JD was eliminated
Ciji cries at everything
Alyson has a bad memory, fantastic boobs that defy gravity (I must know what kind of bras she buys!) and will be eliminated by episode 5
Robert has freaky douchy contacts
Chelsea looks like Jami Gertz
Mark and Jamal are boring
Dante will end up crying more that Ciji will before he's eliminated by episode 5
Geoff and Kelly are enjoying light flirtation that will come to nothing
Amy will get into a fight (at least yelling) and will end up in the top 4 at least

And there you have it! If you've made it this far, I salute you! Make sure to check by because I will be covering every episode.

As Karen from The Office told JD *dramatic look directly at camera* GAME OVER