Well I finally did it...I tried my very first Grand Theft Auto game. Let me tell you of my great success...
I started the game and was driving away with my cousin when the camera started doing some unauthorized movement. I ended up with some sort of top down vision and couldn't see where I was going. What the...??? I was ready to quit then and there (wonky camera is my biggest gaming pet peeve) when my darling husband said, "Wait, what are you pushing up on the left thumbstick for?" Duh, I'm driving...was my snarky reply. It was then I learned that I was not to push up and/or down but only side to side to steer the car. Apparently the "wonky" camera was due to my "wonky" steering. Well, I never! After a few dozen more stops and starts, I finally dropped my cousin off, shouted "screw you cars!" and took a nice relaxing stroll up the street...
Till some frakker in a red Geo looking car decided to run me over and took half my health. That was enough for me to jerk his smarty pants backside out of his car and steal it. That'll teach you to run over someone buster! Muwahahahahaha...
Except that the little bastard hung on to the side of the car and I dragged him for about a mile of so. He finally let go and was hit by an oncoming car. Well, I told him to let go! And off we went...
I say "we" because the guy was going off to the clubs with a buddy or something because when I finally couldn't take anymore of driving without pushing up on the thumbstick, the passenger guy jumped out of the car with me and started chasing me! Everytime I got enough ahead of him for him to be off camera, RuFfNeCk would say, "OK, you lost him" so I would stop and he'd be right on me again punching me! So I then decided to "be a man" as it were and kick his butt back to the Geo....
Except that I couldn't figure out which button was the kick ass button and I finally just ran away until he was off camera again. At one point I heard tires screech and then a very audible thump. I ran faster laughing at the irony that out of the three of us getting hit by cars, I was the only one alive...and still unable to drive a car...
What the heck is wrong with this game???
