Game Over! (Now With More Sock Puppets!)

Okay, here we go! This is it! The finale of WCG Ultimate Gamer was last night and it had everything! Excitement! *gasp* Tears! *gasp* Suspense! *finally*

I'm going to keep the blah blah blah as short as possible. Jamal gets the boot so it's Rob and Mark in the finals. I am all about Rob winning. I think he's been one of the most well rounded gamers on the show and more importantly, he's not a complete smarmy teabagging trash talking douche (at least not in this episode).

Soooooo...

Once Jamal gets kicks to the proverbial curb, Mark and Rob have a quick make out session ("You're the best!" No, you're the best!" "No you!" "You hang up first!" "No you!") and we move on to bigger and better things. Actually, we get back to the loft where they have some sort of sad sock puppet reunion. (Again I ask, where did they get the supplies to make sock puppets?!?!)

They take some sort of field trip because we see them come into the loft again and who is there but Rob's mother and Mark's girlfriend! Mark tells us, "I needed her there to encourage me...and keep me from kissing other girls in lavatories..." Okay, he didn't say that last part. A sweet moment is seen between Rob and his mother and I was touched that...wait a minute...

"Psst hey you! Move to your left! They're having a moment and you're in the shot!"

Apparently ever since the girls left, there's no food to be eaten so they bring in some fancy pants chef to make them all breakfast. After breakfast we have more sappy sentiments, crying, blah blah blah, Mark says, "No one thinks I'm going to win". (he can read my mind! I'm scared!) He kisses his girlfriend good-bye (what, no bathroom?) (Okay, that was my last one, promise!) and off we go to the rooftop to either wrap this thing up or jump off, one or the other. But not before we get a tender scene of the guys showing their ladies the sock puppets. (Seriously! How, where and why were they supplied with sock puppet parts?!?!?)

Jimmy Fallon and Karen from The Office are there to tell them that they will play 3 games in the finale, each one assigned points, most points win. The games are: Soul Calibur IV (yes!), Gears of War 2 (yes!) and Shaun White Snowboarding (zzzzzzz!). They won't know in what order they'll be played or how many points are assigned to which game. Out of nowhere, all of the past contestants show up, Dante takes the easy road and congratulates the finalists, Jamal continues to trash talk (shut up shut up shut up!) by saying "I'm the only one who could beat Rob". Uh, he means like he "beat" him at Halo 3 a few hours ago? Wait...does he know what "beat" means? He knows it means "win" not "lose", right?

Moving on...far away hopefully, Karen from The Office asks Swoozie what it's like to be a big loser (I've never understood why hosts ask questions like this) and we get treated to yet another Mark vs. Ciji sticks and stones throw down, this time it's mercifully short and we find out that each guy can choose one loser to "help" him practice the final games. Rob picks Swoozie and Mark picks Jamal (who are perfect for each other in my opinion, that's who Mark should've taken in the bathroom with him).

Now on to the finale! Finally!!!

One last kiss ("You're the best!" "No you!") between Rob and Mark and we're off! First game worth one point, Shaun White Snowboarding! So they have to do tricks down a zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz whatever, Mark wins this one so Mark-1, Rob-0.

Next game worth two points, Gears of War 2. Long story short, Rob wins so now it's Mark-1, Rob-2. So now it all comes down to the last game worth 3 points...

Soul Calibur IV

Here is where it gets good. Let me stop for a second here to say that I don't watch sports games (anymore at least). I'm not interested in the Super Bowl (nor the commercials), I don't watch the playoffs or World Series. There's nothing wrong with getting into watching that stuff, it's just not me. What is me is watching other people play video games. That's my "sports watching". And this final game between Mark and Rob in Soul Calibur had me up off the couch, yelling at the TV and is what led to my use of "mother f%$#%" in front of ICandee JR (Mommy's sorry sweetie!).

It was intense. Rob wins the first 4 rounds! All he has to do is win one more round and he wins the whole thing...did you hear me??? The WHOLE thing! Instead...Rob loses the NEXT 5 ROUNDS to MARK and MARK becomes the "Ultimate Gamer"?!?!?! What the what?!?!?!!

Wow...

It was almost exactly like this match in the Championship Gaming Series where this guy on Carolina Core comes back to win 4 (I think it was) DOA4 rounds in a row only to lose in the next round. That, to me, is what competitive gaming should be, none of these uneven, boring, predictable matches we saw in the beginning of Ultimate Gamer's season. But take heart oh dearest Rob...historically, it's the ones that don't win reality shows that get the fame. Heck, even The Bachelor went back to the original loser so there's hope after all!

In conclusion, I enjoyed watching this show immensely. I will watch again if there is a second season and I will be blogging about it for my faithful (2) readers here at ICandee, You Game. My final prediction is this: watch out Jimmy Fallon and Karen from The Office! Only one of you will be coming back for the second season, the other will hear their very own *cue dramatic music*...

GAME OVER!

I Said A Naughty Word In Front Of ICandee Jr

I can't even begin to blog about the finale of Ultimate Gamer right now so here's a quick haiku to tide you over...see if you can guess my final thoughts through the majesty of beautiful Japanese Americanized poetry and I'll be back when I can think straight:

*clearing throat* Ahem...

"No no no no no
No no no no no no no
No no no no no"

Oh Yes It Was Ladies Night

Last night I had some girlfriends over for a girl's night and it proved two things:

1. I have great friends

and 2. I am totally awesome on Rock Band drums. Since RuFfNeCk has the instruments in his game room, we moved in there and made him our Monkey Butler Game Runner. I've been able to play Rock Band exactly once since ICandee Jr got here so last night was a great time for me indeed.

Today we're stalking Best Buy to try and score some of their $10 game sale games and then hopefully I'll be able to start playing a little Call of Duty 4 (yeah, yeah, I'm behind I know...). :P

UPDATE: Score! We got ahead of the unwashed masses and acquired these games for a total of 60 bucks:

Pure
Unreal Tournament III
Infinite Undiscovery
Enemy Territory: Quake Wars (2 copies because I don't share)
Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3

Wizard Needs To Pee...Badly...

Going into this week's Ultimate Gamer, I was skeptical. After Ciji's elimination last week, we were down to 6 gamers and then we find out that this week 4 gamers were getting the dreaded "GAME OVER" and the finale was upon us the next week where we would finally get our "ultimate" gamer. Come on, 4 gamers in one episode??? O-kay...But I must say that I was pleasantly surprised by this episode. Gone were the "real life" challenges and in their place was pure gaming...in a sense...

Thus begins...The Gauntlet...dun dun DUN! My first thought was, "Wizard needs food, badly..." My second thought was, this better be good especially with SciFi and their ad for the show within the show telling me to "stay tuned". So Jimmy Fallon shows up at the Loft to inform our competitors that they will be playing previous games in The Gauntlet (dun dun DUN!) and 4 of them will get the boot. Also they will play these games *cue dramatic music* as they never have played them before! *gasp* But before all that happens, they have to play Asphalt 4 on Samsung cell phones...Fascinating.

Jamal wins and humbly says, "I was a shoo-in to win this cause they know that I'm the best all around gamer that there is in the world." Wow, really? In the whole wide world? That's impressive, nerf herder. Anyway, they all get carted to an abandoned warehouse where the first leg is either my dream fulfilled "Footloose" dance off or they have to steal a chip a la "Prison Break". By the way, where are all of these "abandoned" warehouses? Wherever that city is must have a hell of a rat problem.

We get a box in the corner of the screen telling us that it's 9:30 in the morning and 38 degrees. I can only assume (and fervently pray) that this actually means it is and amounts to useful information. First game up in Gauntlet Room #1 (they actually titled the rooms): PGR4. Last place from this leg of The Gauntlet (dun dun DUN!) gets the boot and everyone else moves on to the next round. But just as Jimmy Fallon said earlier, they're going to play PGR4 *cue dramatic music* as they never have played it before! *gasp* In this case it means they're strapped to a chair and have to play the game with the screen upside down.

Best quote from PGR4 round goes to Amy. When she realized they were moving her chair, she exclaimed in startled tone of voice, "I have to pee, dude!" However, the best part of this leg has to be when they hit that first turn and being upside down must have done it's work because they all crashed into each other and it was a total pile up. First place goes to Jamal whose prize is the ability to impair a competitor in the next round. Last place and first to get a boot to the butt is Chelsea. Fortunately, they decide to send her off with a montage of clips showing her being cute, blowing kisses and dancing in her little black dress. Between Amy's inverted bladder and Chelsea's primping I have no idea why more girls aren't gamers because add gaming with the duties of being a girl...awesome!

So our merry little crew heads off to abandoned warehouse room #2 where the game is Rock Band 2. Ultimate Gamer Clock: 2:30 PM. They will be playing guitar on "Eye of the Tiger" taking it "a little old school" as Jimmy Fallon put it. Thing is, they won't be playing just guitar. They will also be playing drums with their feet. This truly is...The Gauntlet (dun dun DUN!). They get to practice the song twice but since Jamal won the first challenge, he can pick any player to practice only once. He picks Mark, they all play, it's hard to play both, blah blah blah. Swoozie comes in first place and Amy is in last. So bye bye Amy thus rendering my earlier prediction that she would be in the top 4 false. Thanks for nothing! My fingers were crossed for a chick make it further but Amy did put up a good showing...ah well...

So now it's on to Abandoned Warehouse Room #3 and the game is Halo 3. It's a free for all and knowing how us gamers have no lives outside of the console, they make it a marathon meaning these guys gotta play Halo all night long. (All night long. All night. All night. All night long. Ooh yeah, all night.) Not only that but they have to remain standing the entire time on pedestals. They can take breaks whenever they want but their Spartan will spawn with or without them, offering free kills to everyone else. Since Swoozie won the last round, he gets a 5 minute advantage and can shoot, punch and teabag to his heart's content while the other guys have to sit by and watch it happen. The other 3 join in and it's on. So they get to midnight and Karen from The Office brings pizza and cookies. Swoozie takes advantage of the break and the others take advantage of his body...in game, of course.

2:00AM brings Karen from The Office holding a rope. I assume there's naked girls on the end of the rope to tempt our all male contestants further but instead it's a safe with $1,000, first one there gets it. Jamal takes the chance of losing kills and runs after the safe. Mark also makes a run but it turns out that he just needed a pee pee break.

Here's my question: why haven't they been playing the games like this all along? This episode was much more interesting than previous ones with the "Real Life" challenges...

All told, they play Halo 3 for 9 hours. Pretty impressive actually and quite entertaining to watch. In first place: Rob which was not a surprise to me in the least. So Rob is off to the finale, blinding contacts and all. As for last place and the next gamer to fall victim to The Gaunlet (dun dun DUN!)??? SWOOZIE! What the what?!?! Come on now, this has to be a joke! Stupid pizza break...

So now we're down to, as Dante would put it, Jughead and Floppy Farm Boy. (*sigh* I miss Dante's nicknames so much...) But they can't both stay so Jimmy Fallon and Karen from The Office tell them that the person going to the finale with Rob...will be none other than...

....

To Be Continued...

"Boom, roasted!"

I Miss Itagaki

Well, I got to play about 5 minutes of Halo 3 co-op with RuFfNeCk before ICandee Jr woke up (it would have been 15 minutes but he wanted to watch the opening cinematic, I just wanted to kill things).

Later that night, for some strange reason...nostalgia maybe, I was in the mood for Dead or Alive 4 sparring. Sometimes I'm in the mood to kick someone's butt while they're just standing there. :P So far I've unlocked system voices for Leifang, Hitomi and Christie (there would be more but hey, I stink at throws). Ya, DOA4 is as old as the gaming hills but it still looks glossy and gorgeous and it reminds me of a simpler time like learning new cuss words via Alpha-152 and KO'ing friends with repeated punches to the face...

Good times...

Even Gamer Girls Get The Blues

This week on WCG Ultimate Gamer, the game was NBA Live 09 and all the gamers tried to zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

What? Huh? Sorry about that, must have nodded off in my total boredom and disinterest. (Let's see how many time I can use the word "boring" this week boys and girls!) After Jamal's teabaggin' defeat of Dante last week, his "nanny nanny boo boo" return to the loft was surprising anti-climatic. Boo! However, one of SciFi's confusing habits to advertise the show while I'm watching the show reoccurred and this time they proudly proclaimed, "One gamer challenges a basketball legend to one on one. You won't want to miss this." Whatever SciFi...My only hope is that the "legend" is Meadowlark Lemon come out of retirement and the "one on one" includes regulation ladders and chairs.

Meanwhile, on another episode of "As The Gamer Turns", Jamal proclaims, "I am the best gamer in the house". (As long as Rob's playing back up I'm assuming) and Ciji, still basking in her now Dante-free environment, gushes, "I hope that's the end of the drama". *cue dramatic foreboding music* and begin tearful emotional screaming match between Mark and Ciji.........NOW! Let me spare you here, Mark is totally denying everything and it's plain that he's used this tactic before because he is so good at it he can make you doubt your own name. What ensues is a screaming match betwixt our two young gamers with Amy valiantly trying to play interference. Ciji cries and storms off with Mark rubbing his hands in glee at his clever use of "Oh yeah, well I'm rubber and you're glue!" *cut to Rob smirking* So this either means that all Ciji is interested in is creating drama OR Mark is a stereotypical asshat that thinks he can do what he wants and deny his way out of it...

So on to the Real Life Challenge where Karen from The Office (looking fabulous as usual, this time dressed in a sleeping bag) announces this week's game and tells them to get dressed in their very own sleeping bags, er, I mean personalize basketball jerseys. Mark is peeing himself in joy of a game that he "is so good" at playing. They're going to have a dunking contest and who are the judges but Spud Webb, Darryl Dawkins and Lisa Leslie! (Look at me acting like I know who these people are, I'm so good!)

So now you know the judges, 3 guesses at to which "basketball legend" gets challenged to a "one on one" by which gamer. You're so smart! After getting a bad score on one of his dunks, Jamal the Jackass challenges Lisa Leslie to one on one because he "can take her anytime in real basketball". Really Jamal? And just why did he zero in on the female legend? I was half hoping she would have as much class as Jamal and take him up on the offer. I was really looking forward to watching them scrape Jamal off the court.

So now I'm bored so long story short, Swoozie is in first place and Jamal is in last place. Back at the loft, they all scurry away to try and become great at NBA Live 09, except for Mark, who tries to help Ciji play better. Rob, who has a habit of saying he's not strong in any game except Halo 3 apparently, goes to Jamal and tells him to make sure to score lower than Rob in the Isolation Challenge, after all Rob save his butt in the Elimination Challenge last week right? And once again Rob's concern is unfounded as it's (unsurprisingly) Ciji in last with Mark in first.

And here Mark makes a strange comment after placing first, "Finally my day has come". Uh...he does remember placing first last week, right? I'd say his day came last week...

Anyhoo, Amy is all in a snit again because she is really convinced with every elimination challenge that the first place person is going to pick her. I can't decide if this is due to her thinking everyone views her as a threat or her fear that all the boys want to get rid of the girls (which I would find funny except for Jamal). So she goes running to Mark pleading her case to not be up against Ciji with Mark essentially saying, "Whatever dude". He does comment that he doesn't think they'll expect what he's going to do. Whatever dude, you better wow me!

Now, in my most humble opinion, if I was Mark I would pick Rob to go against Ciji. It can't be missed on Mark that Rob's running around trying to keep himself in the loft during a week on his "weakest game". In my mind, Rob is big competition so get rid of him when the opportunity arises. Or get rid of Chelsea, she is MEGA b-o-r-i-n-g so get rid of her during an equally boring game, perfect! So just who does Mark pick to go up against Ciji.....hmmmm hmmmm hmmmm?

Himself...

Dude, we've already been through the whole "putting yourself up against the last place" with Swoozie and Geoff. It's been done and it's boring. Not only that but once again we're stuck with an Elimination Challenge with no drama, no excitement and no tension. Fabulous...

After Mark's groundbreaking decision, Jamal decides to become Ciji's "big brother and help her in this time of need". So he grabs a big honking glass of white wine and heads off to try and recreate the training scene from Karate Kid. And then it's time to head off to Samsung Stadium to say goodbye to Ciji.

Ciji arrives in her usual arraignment of face bling, plaid and funky boots and Mark arrives looking like a lumberjack getting ready to go camping. Once again, there's great effort but of course Mark wins. I think even more disgusting than Jamal's teabagging of Dante was Mark's smarmy send off to Ciji, "I don't totally feel like a winner cause I lost a really good friend today". How he said that with such a straight face I'll never know. Ciji did her best to hold her eye rolling back and I was wishing she'd walk straight up to him and kick him in the teabags. I guess that'll teach Ciji to go running her mouth when Mark is trying to get his mac and cheats on!

6 gamers are left and according to next week's promo, we only have 2 episodes left (?!) and next week they're playing everything they've already played...I guess my suggestion of them playing competitive Peggle was ignored.

I'm On The Highway To Rhythm Hell

RuFfNeCk knows my love for all things cute, especially if that cuteness can be translated into a game. Enter Rhythm Heaven for the DS. Tons of little rhythm games with the art style of Katamari, Loco Roco and Wario Ware combined.

Now, I'm by no means an ace at rhythm games. Half the time, I can't even spell "rhythm". But this game is so cute, I had to give it a try! All was well until I realized that either I have ZERO rhythm or this games cheats....I'm going with the latter. :P

So, luckily ICandee Jr has been asleep each time I've played because I definitely had my "gamer mouth" running instead of "mommy mouth". Each game starts with a practice mode and while I killed in practice mode for some reason I was using the stylus like a caveman when it came time for the real thing cause I s-u-c-k-e-d.

Oh well, it's still fun so check it out, especially if you're addicted to all things cute and rhythmic.

Happy Easter everyone! Please send any leftover Peeps my way!